Have you seen a cartoon or TV comedy shtick where a piece of yarn from a sweater or scarf has caught on something and unravels while a person is wearing it?
Raise a hand if it’s happened to you.
I’m raising a hand.
When did it happen, you may ask? Let me fill you in.
It was a warm Halloween in my elementary school days. I believe it was kindergarten or first grade.
I’m from a time when a man in a black cape and pointed teeth could scare a kid more than Jason, Freddy or the mysterious man with a penchant for sawing appendages of visitors.
We owned a black and white television which received maybe five channels.
Yes. About five channels, kiddos. And black and white means no color.
One of those channels was a magical kingdom of make believe – WUAB Channel 43, out of Cleveland.
So, if the wind was blowing just right and the metal rabbit ears were twisted to the point of breaking, I could pick up the station’s Saturday afternoon monster host, mild mannered news anchor, Marty Sullivan, who heroically turned into the droopy costumed hero, with the red nose – Super Host.
Boris Karloff ruled the airwaves as the mummy and Frankenstein’s monster.
After watching a mummy movie, I announced I didn’t want to wear the already purchased police officer costume with the hard-shell mask and cheap plastic body covering.
I told Mommy I wanted to be a mummy. The answer was “no,” “no” and “no.”
However, after several days of convincing, mom finally gave in.
On the day of our school Halloween celebration, I was home for lunch as mom adorned me in sheets held together by a variety of safety pins, most hidden from the eyes of onlookers.
I was sharp and I was excited-until about three houses from home.
I noticed a piece of sheet dragging the ground. I tucked it back where I thought it should go.
A few minutes later my young eyes spotted movement in my lower region.
Yep.
More mummy misgivings.
In just about 10 minutes my mummy was unraveled beyond repair, and I was walking back home with my head low, dragging dirt collecting sheet strips and tears rolling down my cheeks.
My mom met me at the door and noticed my monstrous un-King Tut predicament.
I was panicking and afraid I would miss the Halloween pageant.
However, after several minutes of hugs and kisses, mommy alleviate my mummy sadness, which culminated in a pile of dirty sheets.
Mom had the answer.
She still had the little police officer costume with the hard-shell face held together with a small strap and two pieces of metal on either side.
As I left the house, about 15 minutes late, I started thinking about a big green Frankenstein costume for the next year.
It never happened. But a hippie, Dracula, a baby and my Uncle Mike’s roller derby uniform topped off my costume career.
I was still sad. I knew my mummy would have won “Best Costume.”
However, the sadness didn’t last. If I remember correctly, once the candy started flowing, the mummy memory began to fade.
Funny the stress and tears full-size Tootsie Rolls, bubble gum and wax lips will dissipate.
Now that I think about it, bubble gum and wax lips would make me smile anytime.
I wish I had some now.
