By Tina Puma
1st grade here she comes…. Today was not my ideal 1st day of school. The things we have to think about daily or worry about, or prepare others for, is not something we would wish on anyone. The “what if’s” are always going to be a constant worry and issue for me. She was so excited and ready for 1st grade! She couldn’t wait to get there. She took pictures with all her friends at the bus stop then after they all got on the bus we walked back to our house so I can drive her to school… Once we were in her class she ended up needing to switch her chair with other one because the one she had was a little bit to tall for her to be able to slide in under her desk. She then went up to the smart board to mark her lunch off, and turned around to come back and didn’t see (or feel) the cord that was on the carpet and tripped over that.She started crying out of embarrassment, I tried to keep it together the best I can, but I ended up getting upset for her. Let me tell you how truly exhausting it is having to act strong all the time. To not let her see how truly hard things are for me and how much I am struggling with this new life we are forced to live. I will be going back at recess to be with her on the playground because once again, we aren’t sure what she can and can’t do, so we need to figure it out together. I know this is just the 1st day and I was really ready for it to be hard on me. But I was NOT prepared for it to be hard on her because she is so strong all the time. She is the one who keeps us together with her positive attitude and determinations but when I see her struggling, its the most upsetting and helpless feeling, because we can’t make it better. There is no going back in time and making everything “normal” for her again.
