You’ve lent the neighbor to your right a cup of sugar, and you’ve shoveled the walk for the one on the left. You exchange pleasantries with the neighbor across the street from you and make small talk with the one just behind. But did you ever stop to think about what makes a good neighbor? Was it the “driveway socials” that popped up during the Covid-19 lockdown? If your neighborhood didn’t have them, you sure missed out!
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we all need to feel a sense of safety, love, and belonging, and have social needs to fulfill. Failure to meet these needs could lead to mental and/or physical illness.
Fast forward to Covid-19 closures and food shopping and basic needs. Stores were open but people were informed to shop for basic and emergent needs, thus safety and physiological needs were at risk, and being advised to lessen travels to and fro.
During Covid-19, schools were closed, some places of businesses were closed, and even playgrounds for children were closed. Heck, shopping for groceries became the big hour out and about out of the house! People need to feel a sense of belonging and have social needs. They weren’t being fulfilled with normal day-to-day activities because these were shut down during Covid-19. Thus, neighborhoods and neighbors created their own sense of belonging, through social gatherings held outside as weather permitted, through a phenomenon we called “driveway socials”, where neighbors would bring their own chair, drink and/or munchie and hang out in a neighbor’s driveway six feet apart from one another, as suggested by the CDC. Need to use the bathroom? Head home a few doors down- no problem. The point is that humans enjoy belonging, socializing, and or being loved, it’s a basic human need. Humans will create that new belonging in any way that they can, and did during Covid-19.
What if your life circumstances have led you to be a poor neighbor? You’ve become the “Debbie Downer” of the neighborhood- so to speak. A new release movie called, “A Man Called Otto” with Tom Hanks, is just that- a relatively curmudgeon older neighbor who doesn’t want to be bothered by anyone or anything. He actually has his own agenda. But why is he this way? The story follows Otto throughout his life and his wife who has recently died. He says that his life never really started until he met her, and now she is gone. Now, he’s a grump, doesn’t want to be bothered, and keeps dodging social interaction at each turn. It doesn’t work out for him! People need people. They need meaningful interactions with others and need to feel a sense of purpose and/or security. He has neighbors who need help, he needs help but doesn’t ask, and somehow they all find each other.
Being a good neighbor is about finding each other, someone to help, share a laugh, someone to walk with, laugh with, walk your dog back to the yard after they’ve wandered astray, or take out your trash when you are away. It is about helping each other for no reason other than being a good person and you would want that done for you in return. Good neighbors are approachable, are social, and encourage others to do the same.
