By Susan Govern
Both of my Grandfathers knew how to grow things. My paternal Grandpa was a farmer and my maternal Grandpa always had a big garden. My Grandmothers were blessed with the know-how for growing all kinds of flowers. Even my Aunts and Uncles inherited the green-thumbs of their parents, and they in turn passed this ability to make things grow to my cousins.
Me – I ended up in the “shallow end of the gene pool” when it comes to having a “green thumb”. Actually, you could say I’m missing that gene in my D.N.A. entirely.
Every time I receive a plant for whatever reason – especially a flowering one – I thank the giver then whisper to the plant “I’m sorry in advance for the short life you’re going to have”. Sometimes I manage to keep it alive and blooming for a week or two before it must go on life-support.
Thank goodness for my dad – while he was alive he resurrected many of my plants. Now that he’s gone, I’ve turned to extended family and friends who have plants that are thriving.
It’s not like I set out to purposely kill these plants – just the opposite. I read the little plastic instructions tags on the care of any plant given to me and follow them religiously. When that begins to not be enough, I turn to others for help and do as I’m told. This buys a few more days for me to enjoy the plant; just a few. Soon enough I’m left with another plant that is no longer flowering, will never flower ever again, or may even turn brown and dry.
Once I had a plant – just a green one, no flowers to try and get to bloom again – and by following every direction given to me I was sure this one would last for a long time. Within weeks of being in my care it began to drop its leaves. Just a couple at first, then a few more, finally the branches were left bare except for three green leaves on the top most part of the plant.
For months I kept insisting the plant wasn’t dead and had just gone into hibernation – at least that is what I wanted to believe. I watered the plant as directed, gave it only the right amount of sunlight, even talked to it. Finally one day I checked it to find the last of the leaves had fallen and my plant was now nothing more than a stick.
Would you believe I still hung on to it? I kept trying to bring it back – but it would have taken an act of God at that point. Finally after a few weeks of staring at this “stick”, I allowed my husband to throw it out.
People who know me after all these years should really take my advice about gifting me with plants – only the fake kind please – I’m tired of being the “grim reaper” of house plants.
Speaking of the “grim reaper” – I’m no better with growing things outside in a garden. Lucky for me, my husband seems to be fairly blessed with know-how on maintaining our flowers.
We have worked out an arrangement over the years – I tell him what I would like to see planted (type of flower and color), and he does the planting. When we go to the plant nursery together – I don’t even touch the plants, I just point and say “that one and that one….” I’m not taking any chances.
This has worked well. I have Catmint plants that bloom a very pretty purple in our front flower bed and get so big that they spread to four times their size once they come up each spring. My Daffodils planted years ago are still coming up each spring, as do the purple Iris’s and Coneflowers. I never touched them when we planted them and I leave the care of them to my husband – hence they are still alive.
Some people put a “Gardening Angel” in their gardens to watch over their plantings. Me – I not only have an Angel statue out front, but Blessed Mother Mary and Saint Joseph too. Who am I kidding – I’d put a freaking army of Saint statues out there if I thought it was necessary.
Yep, my relatives were lucky enough to have bestowed on them the gift of having a green thumb. When it was my turn before being born for the Good Lord to do the same for me, I must have thought He said He was going to give me a “dumb thumb” and told him no thanks.
If any of you reading this think I’ve been exaggerating – then feel free to ask around to my extended family and you’ll find out there’s a whole lotta truth written here, after all, in my lifetime I actually had a cactus plant and a small cactus garden die while in my care. At least I can proudly say I haven’t lost a single green (silk) plant – yet.
